Albert & Edward
My home life was, well sad, my Dad was always working away and when he was home, he was a violent drunk, as children my older brother sat on the door step listening to the house being torn apart and my mum being abused mentally and sometimes physically. The police and doctors where generally called and he was sedated. But as child I was living in fear and anxiety crept in. At school I was a class clown and couldn’t focus. As I mentioned before being dyslexic in the 70,s & 80’s wasn’t a thing you were just thick and put in the bottom groups which is not good for your self-esteem. So coupled together with a shit home life and feeling worthless at school I began to drink which started at 14 after scouts.
My friend and I saved our dinner money up a week so that we could go drink after scouts on a Thursday evening, and this pattern was constantly in my life even through half terms and summer holidays. This is all about escaping and dealing with home problems.
I left school at 15 and began to work as a carpenter joiner but my dad got me a job at the company he worked for which looking back wasn’t good because as my dad was the general manager people didn’t trust me and also lead to me being bullied at work. I finally left and started a foundation course in Interior design which I loved and found my vocation in life. I then slipped back into my old ways after the two year course ended, back working as a carpenter and now taking drugs as well and drinking heavily.
Then the wheels fell off…. I lost my driving license due to drink driving; I had a car accident where a guy died, I was left with life threatening injuries. After I got better my dad sent me to work in Surrey on a job for 6 months on my own. I was lonely and sad and also suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and couldn’t bear to be in a car and the nightmares from the car accident were haunting me, more anxiety problems to deal with…
On one occasion I came down to meet my mates in Canterbury I met someone and quickly soon after I moved in with her and we had children. I was no longer using drugs but I was still drinking but I did go to university to study a degree in Interior Design at KIAD and finished my studies with a 2.1
hons degree, not bad for a dyslexic boy. I worked as an interior designer for a while until my home life stated to become rocky, so I reinvented myself and I became a college teacher and later on a secondary school teacher. Finally, my wheels fell off my 16-year relationship and was back to being
on my own and drinking heavily……
Then I turned it around…with the help of my little brother I began to exercise and started to undertake triathlons I’m an all or nothing guy. So I replaced the drink with exercise and sex. I joined a dating site and started dating which was filling a void of wanting to be loved but when it got too heavy, I would run a mile and look for the next fling. This ran its course and I got bored with the
conveyor belt of dating chit chat and soon became happy in my own skin, but then I meet Lisa who saved me.
I would like to say it was all happily ever after but it’s been a rough 7 year since meeting Lisa none of it her fault, it is me and the demons in my head. As AA would say the wreckage of the past comes to haunt you. This has left me want to take my own life and cause my anxiety levels to hit the roof but the team at FCS Talking Therapies – Faversham Counselling have been amazing, I now have good days and bad days.
You can find Duncan on BBC One ‘Money for Nothing’